Yesterday my computer seemed to die. I say seemed, because, thank goodness, it was a minor problem and is now fixed. However, about the sixth time I tried to boot and it would not find the hard drive…well, it was not a pretty sight! (Hyperventilating…having files flash before my eyes)…
Eventually, I gave up trying to start it, clean it, spray canned air into it, etc. and decided I needed to knit. I am working on slippers for my (big) son. They were supposed to be done for Christmas, but due to many merry mix ups (order lost and not received until Christmas eve, etc) I am still working on them. Knitting would help me reduce my heart rate, give me space, bring me some peace and let me think about what, exactly, I was likely to lose since my last back up (mid-December), what I could reconstruct, what I’d emailed copies of to people, how I would rebuild. I decided that, in all likelihood one of the “Fire Dogs” who all lost their jobs when Circuit City closed would probably be able to pull most of the files off my hard drive. They can really work what seems like miracles these days.
And then my fingers and hands got into the rhythm of knitting and the tension began to leave me. I realized that most of the time I knit while I listen to the radio or music or watch TV. I’m one of “those” people who cannot sit still very long without my hands busy. I bring my knitting to the movies, family get togethers, kid’s concerts and events, waiting rooms, etc. Before knitting it was spinning, crochet, embroidery, etc. I have stitched my way, in one way or another, through my entire life. The stitches mark each event, victory, set back, wait; winding their way through and around my days.
I sat in silence and listened to the click of the needles. And then I realized that I was excited about these slippers. They took on this *substantial* quality. I thought “I am making something of value. Something nice that will see a lot of wear” – my son is rather impatiently awaiting them and anticipating the warmth and comfort they will bring on the cold floors during these winter nights. How cool is that? I’ve made a lot of socks, scarves, sweaters, hats, mittens, but somehow these slippers, with their leather soles seem…more. And then I thought of all of the people who go every day to superstores and pick up slippers or socks or whatever garments they need and they don’t have the slightest clue how it feels to make it for yourself. A lot of them don’t even think about it. But – some of them wish they could do it for themselves and to them, making a pair of slippers would seem like jogging up Mt Fuji…a very distant and lofty goal. If they find the time and courage to get started, a teacher, mentor, or great book to guide them, and the patience to stick with it, they will be empowered.
It really feels good to create something of value with your own two hands. It is…thrilling, exhilarating, joyous…to create. And I realized that because I’ve been doing it throughout the days of my life that I lose sight of that exhilaration at times. I get caught up in whatever else is going on. I’m glad I was forced to step back and take a breather. I’m glad I didn’t go down and turn on the TV, but sat in front of my blank computer in the silence of my office and reintroduced myself to the rhythm and the thrill of working with my hands, of creating.
PS. The computer had a loose cable and so the hard drive was not getting power. It’s fixed now and I didn’t lose any files!